| I say good bye to xanga.
...
good bye. |
| |
| I am oficially scared of bicycles now... dang.
|
| |
| hahahahaha...
DANG!!!!!!!!!!
I was hit by a car... AGAIN!?!?!?!?
This time there was blood involved... my left ankle/foot is messed up. DANG IT!!!
Got to use crutches for a month now.
It it about time for me to say good bye to bicycles. ARGH!!!!!!!!!
AND just when I was starting to KICK ass on tennis!!!
YIKES!!!! SUCKS!!! |
| |
| Why is it that always I have to want that thing which I cannot have??? In my mind I am always "almost there... just a little more, I cannot quit!!!" When in reality things are far beyond my reach. I lie to myself giving me fake hopes, impossible promises, but that for some reason until now proved to be successful, at least for me. I know I am too stubborn... I should just know when to quit and accept the fact that sometimes things will not go like I want them to. This is exactly what I needed. I was too used to getting my way, I needed someone to come and show me that I cannot always win. It hurts a lot, it really does, but it had to happen. I'd be living a lie if I was to get my way on things all the time. Though with curiosity I hope that it hurts because it did not work, not because I did not get my way. I need to work on my ego... I think it is too big.
Now... I do not regret anything I have done... and hope not to regret anything I will do, but, big but, what if I was... to just take what is in front of me??? Shoot, just give it a shot. Say yes. Maybe then I will find that which I am looking for. Maybe. But for the moment, I need to take comfort in the fact that I tried, I tried my guts out, I know it, she knows it, they know it, everybody knows it... because of that, I am not sad, but happy, happy on the fact that if it did not work... it wasnt because of me, but just because it wasnt meant to happen. Had I not have tried??? I'd be misserable, misserable asking myself the famous "what if???" for the rest of my life. I will not change my ways... if there is something I want, I will fight for it, fight until I get or see that it just doesnt work. But from today... I will open my eyes to the other options that are given to me, but that because of their seemingly easiness with which they come to me I just ignore.
With this said... I will end my entry with one more statement of great importance.
- Ask me again. My answer will surprise you.  I am finally ready for you.- |
| |
